Your life changes drastically after having a child.

No matter what, you are always going to worry about your children. Even after they are grown and out of the house. Once a parent, always a parent. I’m sure if you have a child, then you know your life changes drastically after a child.

Of course, when your children are young they need you. They also cherish you. You are their world. But, at they get older they still need you, just in a different way. They also don’t like to admit that they always need you.

Parenting is no easy job, and needs to be taken seriously. You are responsible for another human being. Everything that you do, really does matter. They learn from watching you and listening to you. If you want your child to grow up to be more independent, then let your child have more responsibility.

Here are 5 reasons why parenting is a lifelong commitment:

  1. Your child deserves your commitment. This doesn’t mean that they have to rely on you for everything. They need to get out there, and try out their own ideas. Even, if they fail their is a learning process. I have to admit, I’ve learned some of my best lessons through failure. I also learned that you can get back up, and try again.
  2. You will always be your child’s rock. Children are born relying on their parents. They can’t walk, talk, eat or bathe on their own. They learn very quickly that they can rely on you. That’s alright, in the beginning. When a child knows the parent has their back, they will grow up to be more self assured and confident. So, you want to be the rock in their life. As they get older, and move out they will still need you. Make sure to keep in touch, and let your child know you are there for them. Even, if they don’t take you up on it, they will feel better knowing that you offered.
  3. You will always feel emotionally connected to your child. This is an important one. This is not only good for you, it is good for your child. You want your child to feel safe telling you anything. You do this by loving your child and accepting your child for who they are.
  4. You will get to see your investment pay off. Let’s face it, you have made a big investment in your child. You have been there for your child from the beginning. Maybe, you have given your child the life you didn’t have as a child. Now, that your child is an adult, you get to reap the rewards. They don’t have to be exactly like you. Embrace your differences with your child. This is known as accepting influence from you child. This is a great way to gain their trust.
  5. Now that your child is grown, you get to focus on yourself. You are still there for your child, until the end. But, now it’s time to take that vacation you have always wanted to take. You get to invite your friends over for dinner. Go to see your favorite bands in concert. Shop to your heart’s content. And, whatever else you have been putting on the backburner as a parent. Sleep in and spend more time at the gym. You also get to do this guilt free.

It’s important that as a parent, you also take care of your own emotional and physical needs. This will help create balance in your life. You also won’t feel resentful or taken for granted, in the long run.

Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, she is located in San Mateo, CA. She has helped many adults overcome the empty nest syndrome, and enjoy the freedom that comes with it. For more information, please call or email (650) 892-0357 or

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